The Real World

It's been three weeks. New job, new career. First time in over a year that I actually have to return to a 5 day a week work week. My body is in shock. Unlike anything I have ever done before in my professional career, it's labor intensive. I don't sit at a desk all day in front of a computer. No access to the Internet or email for the occasional distraction from work. Just work. I ache. I have not felt this way since before college when I used to get up at 4am and breathe in the familiar smell of fresh shavings and sweet feed. Muck stalls, fill water buckets, get horses ready for their owners big show day, and then in the afternoon, barely able to feel my own muscles, get on my horse for a turn in the show ring. It was tiring, but so worth it. So much fun. I used to love the feeling of being at a big show, seeing everyone else around you that understood what it all meant. Taking a minute from the routine in the early morning to pause for the National Anthem. It was satisfying.

My new job gives me a similar feeling. It's an art. It takes practice. You get scolded for not doing things correctly. You learn, try to be better, faster. If you are not frustrated, you are probably not trying hard enough. There is no tolerance for anything less than perfect. Standards are high. Yesterday we had to trash 100 portions of pasta because of the moisture level in the air, when dropped into the boiling salted water they were not opening up correctly. Sticking together. Everything had to be done over, but with less liquid. Drier dough.

My hands hurt. Kneading anywhere from 10-30 portions of dough a day. Burns from touching hot pot handles opening up. My feet hurt. You don't sit for a second at all during the day. Employee meal is served. You eat standing up. I treasure the moments now when I can have a minute to sit (on the bus or subway). My back hurts. My neck hurts. I carried those very heavy hotel pans into the walk in and had to get them up in the top shelf. I'm short. The floor is slippery. Later, had to go and get them down. It's a miracle I have not injured myself yet.

I have barely eaten any pasta since I started my job. I'm around it all day. I don't want to look at it when I'm not at work. Prepping and tasting ravioli filling all day. The same for the bolognese and the bechemel. Things I used to love. Still great, but now I crave other things. The thing I used to love about Italian restaurants were the fresh, home made pastas. Last week I went to a great place and didn't even read what they had on the menu. Got fish instead.

I love it though. I'm learning a lot. I'm gaining an expertise that others may never have. My pasta maker with the little hand crank from Willam Sonoma looks so puny sitting on the shelf. Can I even use that anymore? The dough I deal with now is like a foot in width and 5-10 feet long. Do I even want to try? It's my Saturday. Maybe. But not today. I can barely move my fingers they are so cramped. Maybe they will feel better tomorrow.